Welcome Zelda Blogites to another fine edition of A Somewhat Serious Article. Despite my fervent promises to “get on the ball” with my writing, I somehow let TWO AND A HALF FREAKING MONTHS slip by. I’m sure no one noticed.
Since my absence, there have been a myriad of topics I could have chosen to write about. Wii controls, giant enemy crabs, Navi, the new TP box art, the Wii Price, that speed run TML posted a while back, speed runs in general, Link being right handed, Tingle, fan reaction to Wii price, armored stalfos’, and finally Tingle again just to name a few.
With such a wide array of choices I found it almost impossible to decide which one to write about. In the end I chose my topic the same way I make all my important life decisions.
By flipping a coin.
A HUNDRED AND EIGHTY TIMES.
Using a combination of extreme math and probability each topic was paired up with another and a best out of three coin toss insued. Starting at 8:00 PM and continuing into the night each topic was eliminated systematically until at last only one remained, standing triumphant against the wiles of fate and coin tossery.
Thus this edition: THE MOST AWESOMEST SIDEKICK EVER is about Midna
Midna, despite her prominent position in Twilight Princess is still generally unknown to the majority of the Zelda Community.
Let’s get this straight once and for all. Minda is a major supplier to OEM’s both in India and overseas and is accredited with quality and environment certification in addition to collaborations and strategic alliances with international manufacturers.
Midna is this chick here
*Note* If you are still confused, please have no hesitation in emailing me. Hopefully we can get this all cleared up before Twilight Princess is released.
Midna is a strange new character in the Zelda series. With her unusual appearance in the Twilight Realm, her desire to aid Link in his quest, and her ability to provide hints whether needed or not means only one thing.
Midna’s the new “Link sidesick”.
Following in the proud tradition of Navi, Tatl, and Ezlo; Midna is undoubtedly the next incarnation of Nintendo’s need to help the player tie their shoes. As seen from the e3 2006 demo, Midna appears on and off, giving her two cents and then returning to the blob that is Link’s shadow.
But how good of a sidekick is she? Will she fall into the annoying, unintentional comic relief section that is Navi? Will she help target enemies per Tatl? Or will she spout out nonsensical musings and sit content on Link’s head like Ezlo?
Only time will tell us that for sure. But this is A Somewhat Serious Article. Lets go ahead do what we’re so well known for.
The Midna Scale works as follows. The higher the number, the better chance Midna will act like the person in question. So say for example Navi got a Midna scale of 10, it means Midna will be exactly as Navi. If James Bond got a Midna scale of 0, it means Midna will not be pistol whipping anyone soon.
*Note* If you are still confused, please have no hesitation in emailing me. Hopefully we can get this all cleared up before you’re done reading the article.
Here we go.
From: The Batman Universe
Robin is the most renowned sidekick in the fictional universe. When writing anything about sidekicks you have to devote at least part of the article on him. It’s the law.
Robin is essentially the comic relief of the Batman series. With his ever cheerful personality and his ability to DO NOTHING TO HELP BATMAN, (See Batman Forever) Robin still manages to capture the hearts of millions of comic readers. He also has been played by five hundred different people since his creation. (See Robin: A History)
Midna Rating: 2.5 out of 10. It would be highly unlikely Midna would don a bright yellow green costume and swear to fight crime in the name of truth and justice. However the phrase, “Holy Deep Fried Octocrok on a Stick, Link!” would kick so much *Navi* and should be inserted in Twilight Princess as fast as Ken Kutaragi can say “RIDGGGGGE RACER!”
From: The Matrix, The Matrix Reloaded and that horrible movie that came after the Matrix Reloaded.
Trinity’s famous intro scene at the beginning of “The Matrix” propelled her into a world of cheap rip-offs and countless “homage’s”. Despite reinforcing the negative stereotype that all computer hackers can fly out of their chair and proceed to take out an entire police squad while dressed in black leather suit, Trinity will always be known as a sidekick that was able to do helpful things from time to time.
Midna Rating: 4 out of 10. Midna’s already female, so that’s two points right there. I’m also expecting some scene at the end of Twilight Princess where she either a) Reboots Hyrule, b) Has a car chase that ends with a spectacular crash or c) Flies into the air and does a 360 kick on a Bobokin.
From: The Lord of the Rings Trilogy
Samwise Gamgee is the fat lovable protagonist of “The Lord of the Rings” Trilogy. After his fight with Frodo, Samwise decides to take out Mordor with a precision air strike, saving Middle Earth and letting him keep the ring in the process.
His famous line, “Gollum you ain’t got *Navi* on me” has been remade countless times into pop singles and netted Gamgee billions of dollars. He’s currently in talks for “Lord of the Rings 4: Sauron’s back you son of a *Navi*”
Midna Rating: 5 out of 10. Midna’s rhymes may not be as fresh as MC Gamgee. Nevertheless, Midna’s singnature “bling” (ie. Her helmet) will surely be a selling point as millions flock to buy her next album.
From: Anything that has to do with Sherlock Holmes
Dr. Watson is the well known sidekick of Sherlock Holmes, a sturdy friend that can be counted upon in dire times. Holmes has been known to ask for Watson’s assistance: during the middle of the night, in the privacy of his office, smoking in an opium den, while eating dinner with the queen, during an episode of Law and Order, while singing the star spangled banner, in the middle of a gun fight, and while sitting at home smoking a nice comfortable pipe.
Midna Rating: 6.5 out of 10. Midna will most likely provide some sort of combat assistance to Link while suggesting ideas from time to time. Link will then answer back with a pipe in his hand remarking about how deep the Stalfos’ footprints are and that Ganon must be the mastermind behind everything.
Midna will also have a mustache.
From: Back to the Future I, II, and III
Emmett “Doc” Brown is the creator of the Delorean Time Machine from “Back to the Future”. Along with Marty McFly, he travels into the future fixing things he messed up in the past and trying not to screw things up anymore in the present.
Doc Brown is incredibility inventive, able to make high powered chemical logs for a train, fix a machine that he built in the future, rig the flux capacitor to run on fusion and create a working ice machine in 1885.
Midna Rating: 10 out of 10. The following IS going to happen in Twilight Princess. You can quote me on this.
Well we have had quite a time today exploring the personality traits of our soon to be favorite sidekick. Only Twilight Princess can tell if Midna will be a total bad*Navi* or just plain Navi.
And as we enter our second year here at Zelda Blog, I would like to take the time to thank all of our devoted visitors, the ones that wait anxiously at their computers hitting the refresh button. The ones that send thousands of emails discussing the complex issues we talk abou here on the blog. And finally, the ones who take time out of their day to sit down and read A Somewhat Serious Article.Follow This Entry | Leave a Response | Trackback
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