ZeldaBlog

A.S.S.A - Tingle RPG: The Movie

June 17th, 2006 at 11:26 pm by Darth Citrus

I apologize for this article in advance, I really do. After reading Masamune’s post on Zelda Blog, I deliberately sat down at my computer and said, “Caleb, you are NOT doing an ASSA on Tingle RPG”. Restraining my mouse hand I worked feverishly into the night; writing an article on the implications of bush chopping.

6 hours and over 50 pictures later, I had an article on Tingle RPG.


I’m weak.

Nevertheless, I must welcome you to another edition of A Somewhat Serious Article. Needless to say, this topic covers the fantastically epic “Fresh Tingle’s Rose Colored Rupee Land” better known as Tingle RPG.

This “game” portrays the transition of Tingle: a hard working 35 year old man, to a disillusioned green clad “fairy”. With epic characters such as Old Man Rupee, and the illustrious “Pingle”, this game had all the makings of a horrible B-rate movie.

I couldn’t resist. Ladies and Gentlemen, Boys and Girls, Children of all ages. I give you TINGLE RPG: THE MOVIE.






"I want to be a fairy some day Pa."


"Don’t be talking all crazy like. No son of mine will ever be a fairy."

"But Pa.."

"I said that’s enough boy. "



"Don’t you ever crave for more in life Bingle?"

"Nah, mapmaking is as fine a career for me."

"Yeah, but I wish I could be…more."

"People like us can’t be more Tingle. You have to accept that."


"My name is Old Man Rupee. I can help you become a fairy."


"Really?"

"For a price."


"Not every Tingle is destined to be a mapmaker Pa. I have to forge my own path."

"I have no son."


"We don’t just take anyone here boy. To be a guardian fairy you have to be the best of the best…"

"I’m the best of the best, Sir!"

"…and you have to be a fairy."



"Am I hoping for too much Jon?"

"All I can say is that hope is a good thing Nate, maybe the best of things. And no good thing ever dies."

"Hey new fish! Put on your bull’s eye, it’s time for target practice."

"Ok, maybe a little."


VROOOOM!


"We’re here for one Nathaniel Tingle."

"You’re looking at him"

"We thought you were a fairy."

"Most ninja’s do."

"AHHHHHH!"


"I need you need to cut the blue wire."

"THERE’S NO TIME. I’LL HAVE TO EAT IT!"

"TINGLE!"

BOOM!


"You can’t just walk out on us Tingle! We need you…I need you."

"I have to…it..it’s for the good of the team."

"I can’t annoy everyone by myself, Nate. I’m not strong enough."

"You have to try Navi, for me."
 


"The perimeter defences are overun Sir! What are we going do?!"

"The only thing we can do Jim. This is Fleet Sergeant Jingle…"


Filed under Humor, A.S.S.A., Tingle RPG

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38 Messages from the Gossip Stones about “A.S.S.A - Tingle RPG: The Movie”

    Comments

    lol! the next greatest hit to hit theaters since…
    some movie that was not that great, if not horrible!

    We are so NOT EVER goign to do an April Fool’s prank on this one. Just FYI.

    You may not. [suspense] oh OH OHH [/suspense]

    Yeah, I’m not going to do it either. :D

    This could possibly be Spielberg’s…um….most memorable film of his career. And I can just see the critics roaring about Cruise’s redefinition of Tingle!

    “Cruise is fresh and rose colored in this Green Rupee - worth movie!”
    - Entertaining Weakly

    Nicely done as usual, DC.

    Thank you, Thank you. I wanted to put a few “quotes” in there as well but space didn’t allow it. Here’s a few I wrote up:

    The Most Powerful Film since Pulp Fiction” - NY Times

    If A is for Amazing, then T has to be for Tingle” - Roger Ebert, Chicago Sun-Times

    Epic” - Calgary Herald

    From the creators of the greatest minds ever to dream the deep fantastic… ” - Tyler Bennet, Settle Post

    THANK YOU for this post. There have been some family issues and this just cheered me right up. :D Oh, Tingle, it’s a good thing you aren’t really as creepy as Tom Cruise. ^_~

    Nice post; pretty funny. And you used various pictures to make it look like they were really talking……I wonder how a movie based on Tingle RPG would be………probably crap, but you’d see it anyway XD……no offense alright?

    Brilliant. The only sad thing is that it’s not real.

    But hey we have a Tingle RPG category now. I was on the verge of complaining about that!

    “Tingle Kooloo Limpa this, Ganon.”

    XD I love you. Thanks for making my day. *wahaha*

    Darth, that was whacky, halfway through it sounded like a Brokeback Mountain kinda sounding movie. But as you threw in the “Bring in …”’s it really sounded good. This would be funny if it actually picked up, like Snakes on a Plane. (Literally, scientifically made.)

    HAHAHAAA!!! That made my day! You are GOOD at this DC… da bomb!

    DC! DC! DC! DC! You did pretty good, better than your last movie-based ASSA article (the Ultimate Zelda Movie)

    Hahahahahaha oh man that was funny, thanks Darth Citrus your topics are always worth waiting for. Tom Cruise is a great choice for Tingles because they are both midgets, lol.

    BTW John Malcovich would make a great Ganondorf, lol.

    Hi. Larious.

    The movie event of the summer!

    OMG! That is awesome! The Navi x Tingle thing is hilarious! Oh, I’m gonna be laughing about this for weeks! Great Job!

    Steven Spielberg does really good with movies, but if this one ever came out, I don’t know what I would think of the guy. Hey Darth, did you forget Ankle, Knuckle, and David, Jr.? It does seem typical for Tingle to eat stuff, even though it’s smarter to cut it up, first. “YOU GOT TO CUT THE BLUE WIRE!” “Not enough time, I have to eat it!” “TINGLE!” *boom*

    that was funny :D .good one DC.

    FTW.

    Excellent. John Williams will be composing the music. XD

    Thank you everyone for those kind comments. :D . Also,

    Masamune said:
    But hey we have a Tingle RPG category now. I was on the verge of complaining about that!

    Can’t have an article about Tingle RPG without a Tingle RPG category now can we. ;P

    Hey Dart Citrus you should have also said- written by - PARIS HILTON, LOL.

    Robert-UK said:

    Hey Dart Citrus you should have also said- written by - PARIS HILTON, LOL.

    …wait. Paris Hilton can write? o.o

    omg thats awesome!!!! i love it!!! *applause*

    Looks good but there is no way in hell I’m paying $7 to see Navi and Tingle annoy me to death.

    No, but you could send someone you dislike there, run off to the bathrooms, then come back when the movie is over, then drop them off, then yell, “I ANNOYED *insert your peeve here* AND GOT AWAY WITH IT!” Then act like nothing happened. This movie would be a Tingle fan’s dream. I would like to see that Tingle eating the bomb wire scene, it’ll be funny.

    that would be TOTALLY AWSOME!!!!!

    I would like to see a scene in Twilight Princess where Link force-feeds Tingle a Bomb-Flower, I would pay 500 Rupees to see that.

    Robert-UK said:

    I would like to see a scene in Twilight Princess where Link force-feeds Tingle a Bomb-Flower, I would pay 500 Rupees to see that.

    I pay double that if Tingle dies *evil laugh* Excuse me. This would be a good movie if it really did come out, but no Zelda movies :’(

    If you paid double it would still be 500 Rupees… Unless its one of the previous games / adventures when he had the 999 Rupee Wallet, lol.

    Any attempt to view the images you linked to tells me that I’m “not authorized to view this page”

    Hmm strange. It should work now. :P

    “Most ninjas do.”

    That is SUCH a great line! XD Phew…wow…got to stop laughing…Blarg, got milk all over my desk now…

    …………

    *continues rolling on floor laughing*

    “Tingle Kooloo Limpah this!” XD

    I know Freeman from “Bruce Almighty,” good movie.

    After reading Masamune’s post on Zelda Blog, I deliberately sat down at my computer and said, “Caleb, you are NOT doing an ASSA on Tingle RPG”. Restraining my mouse hand I worked feverishly into the night; writing an article on the implications of bush chopping.

    6 hours and over 50 pictures later, I had an article on Tingle RPG.

    I’m weak.

    I know how you feel, even though it never happened to me, though. It is an awesome ASSA, DC. When is the next one?

    All I can say is, you have waaaaaaaay too much time on yur hands.

    Hyrulian Hero said:
    I know how you feel, even though it never happened to me, though. It is an awesome ASSA, DC. When is the next one?

    Well I’m going back to my normal schedule, which is one ASSA at the beginning of the month and one in the middle. So start of July perhaps?

    MAD SKILLZ!!!!

    MAN, I couldn’t post a message for an hour and a half

    Once again Darth, you da’ man!

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