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Metafiction: War of the Mascot

May 16th, 2006 at 11:44 pm by The Missing Link

It was a time of war and devastation. It was a time where armies of fans would rally behind banners of the hedgehog or the plumber, behind banners of the bandicoot or the swordsman-hero. It was a time when ammunition spent between the armies was measured in coins and question blocks, power-ups and points. It was a time when all looked to the most unlikely of heroes for inspiration, when the simple appearance or cameo would elicit the loudest of battlecries.

The olden days of gaming are long forgotten, the fields of war now the stuff of legend or myth. The heroes of yesteryear have all but faded, replaced by faceless leaders who are rarely remembered. The bullets are now ever so shy of being real, armies embracing the new technology of war over the olden ways and means. The battle plans have grown increasingly complex, and the goals of gaming generals have all been reduced to a single objective: supreme domination in every form possible.

This has been the face of war for years, and I have not been fond of it whatsoever.

Gamers as I who have achieved “veteran” status because of sheer age and experience will remember the days of gaming yore when battles were waged between Nintendo and Sega. At the forefront, all the grunts of the respective armies stood behind their two beloved generals; on the one side was the Prince of Blue Lightning, General Sonic Hedgehog; on the other was the Duke of Toadstool, General Mario Brother. The two, in true chivalric form, never… ever faced one another on the battlefield; instead the war was waged strictly between those loyal to them. To each minion in the armies, the other side was the Evil Empire that must inevitably be conquered, yet at the same time each man and woman knew that the other side was not inherently evil. Compromises were made under the treaty of nightfall when soldiers of both sides slept under the same roof and played together happily despite being against the rules and curfews of the houses. Concessions were made as points for each side were not only laid out in debate but also experienced in harmonious unison. The battle waged on forever it seeming stasis, but this was by design as the war was not to destroy one another; it was to challenge one another to provide the masses with ammunition of greater potency, items of war that also served as items of peace… and fun. For many years, this delicate yet glorious balance was retained without question.

Yet it was not to last until the end of time. Soon enough, another unlikely entered the fray; his name was General Crash Bandicoot, and his flag was made by the Sony Armada. With a completely new look, he too challenged the hedgehog and plumber, but this was not only a challenge to be based upon his own popularity but also the threat to change the world as all knew it, an industry revolution, one might say. At first, the other armies refused; the flag of the bandicoot yielded no power nor fierce loyalty, and few chose to abandon their original positions from the earlier days Great War. It was in the next moments to come when the War of the Mascot would gradually draw to a close.

With the bandicoot failing to garner support, he was withdrawn almost as quickly as he was commissioned. The flag was burned in response and quickly replaced with a new flag, one unlike any shown before: no figurehead appeared upon Sony’s banner, as had been tradition. Instead the new flag’s field was black as night with only four geometric shapes to decorate it: a purple square, a red circle, a green triangle, and a blue cross. It flailed within the wind as it was raised upon the flagpole, and, in defiance of Nintendo and Sega, they declared a new era of the war, one far advanced than the one that had existed since the dawn of the conflict, one which talked in terms of bytes, bits, and plastic discs. The early traitors were few at first, but slowly the new order swept across the masses like a fire upon the plains, the camp of Sega bearing most the damage in the ordeal, but Nintendo was not unscathed either. Sega gradually slipped to desperation and tried to adapt, but their efforts were too little too late, and their losses continued. The funeral took plcae shortly thereafter, Sega’s dreams cast into the jaws of defeat; their losses were mourned by many–even within the halls of the Nintendo barracks, their sibling army in the realm of ideas.

The old and new ways were then reduced to something no different than an old Western shootout between two rivals, each waiting for the other to make their move. As they waited for the next defining moment in the Great War, yet one more competitor entered the fray, this time waving a banner in the style of Sony. The army branded themselves with a great green X under the name the Microsoft Commandoes, and they waged war with both the remaining armies, but at an higher level, yet another war existed, a much more important war, a war that would shake the foundations of the world: the war of concepts, the war between the dying mascots and ever-advancing technology. Though the loyalties toward the portly plumber and the elven hero were as strong as steel, the minions within the armies were disillusioned by their former commanders, and loyalty was redefined in terms of technological prowess and potential rather than the simple love for the mascot-generals.

Within the planning rooms of the Nintendo Coalition, the days were dark during this time. Nary a moment went by when their army, bunkered down in one of their last safehouses, skittered against the brick of their building. The front was lambasted with mortar fire and gunshots with such frequency that the became almost more insult than injury. The old way was soon declared dead and forever replaced by the faceless warriors toting guns across the plains, mowing down every enemy in sight. At the same time while the dedicated few were holding Nintendo’s reduced borders, the leaders of the new revolution in the gaming world began work on their new battle strategies, creating programs and hardware that exceeded all imagination. These were clearly weapons, visualised in such quality and refinement that had never before been seen.

Were it not for the fierce loyalty to the mascot-generals, even still present within many of the turncloaks, this would have spelled the defeat of the Nintendo Coalition. Yet hope was once again created as Nintendo unleashed a new fury. It was not focused upon technological superiority but upon a weapon that neither of the others could hope to realise or even properly imitate. It was their secret weapon, something that no one could see coming. It would create rumours of a resurgance of the Nintendo armies… of a final response to the new order than Sony and Microsoft had created and built upon… and it threatened both those that had risen to challenge the once dominant army. Nintendo had been challenged and lost; now Nintendo was the challenger once again. The other armies wished to shun them… they wished to steal from them… and then they inevitably also wished to ally with them, hoping that, with their help, they might resolve the lesser struggle between the Sony and Microsoft armies.

The War of the Mascot was the first war that Nintendo had waged, and now everyone speculates whether or not this would be the second coming of Nintendo, if it would be Nintendo’s Second War, the Nintendo W-II.

The mascot-generals still live on to fight against the complete technological takeover of the gaming world. Only time will tell to see if they are successful in that quest.

Filed under Humor, Nintendo, Metafiction

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64 Messages from the Gossip Stones about “Metafiction: War of the Mascot”

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    Great story yet again TML, lets just hope that W-II will be a Successful campaign for Nintendo.

    Its so true too. Awesome Metafiction TML! The Wii is the nintendo D-Day. Lets see if the Sony Hitler activates his elite Panzer division “Case 3″ or not. Oh, wait he doesn’t have one, they’re screwed.

    TML, that was your best metafiction yet. This second coming of Nintendo will remind gamers why they began gaming in the first place. Wii will embrace the revolution!

    Sony=Hitler because they think they’re the best and they can command gamers as well as force developers to do whatthey want because they have money
    Ironically Microsoft=Japan because they’re heavily entrenched and will be nigh impossible to beat. Hey at least Halo is coming to an end with Halo 3
    Nintendo=Allied Forces simply because they’re the good guys

    Hahahaha that was great TML, Tally ho men to war and the annhialation of Sony & Microsoft, lol.

    Amazing metafiction, TML! It gave me chills, seriously. Nintendo shall live on! Let’s hope that the W-II is our ticket to the forefront of the war, and perhaps Sony will go the same way as Sega and we can get back to the roots of gaming warfare.

    GO Nintendo :)

    I am with nintendo, rally to me, men!! Let us fight against the great evil!!! LONG LIVE NINTENDO!!!!!

    Who’s supplying the weapons this time? I’ll take an M-16 and a katana.

    Light Link 007 said:

    Ironically Microsoft=Japan because they’re heavily entrenched and will be nigh impossible to beat. Hey at least Halo is coming to an end with Halo 3

    LOL Actually I thought of Microsoft as Joseph Stalin, because in at least some way, they’re supporting Nintendo to take down Sony, which is what Russia did to take down Germany (and then of course, the Cold War happened…).

    Nice Metafiction, TML. This looks to be the fiercest, bloodiest war yet. But I’ve faith that General Mario Brother and company will rise to victory once again.

    *waves Nintendo Wii flag atop a hill*

    I hold the weapons, and TML put a ban so I can only use swords (but a good buster blade should suffice) and water guns (I prefer the Shield Blaster 300, but I own a 200 model)

    Great job, another thumbs up.And that metafic is kinda true, we are on a war, of technology, we are the nerds, and if you build it, we will come.Just a little humor.When’s the next ASSA or Whose Blog? anyways?

    Oh well Katana’s work fine. But I think, by the pole results on many sites, that nintendo should do fine this generation.

    Nintendo W-II! That’s genius! XD Oh wow…
    Anyways, I’m behind Nintendo all the way on this! And I never thought of the gaming market thingy as a war…oo’

    The weapons I got, I have, the Kirby suit, I have Samus’ suits (from all her games) I have All weapons from the Zelda series, I have the Mario Gang (Mario, Luigi, Wario, ect) Hats, I have DK’s tie, I got Fox’s weapon arsenal, and I’m only allowed into the swords and water guns, so go see Robert for the katana’s, since I only got Nintendo Mascot (or the SSB stars) weapons.The W-II is genius, I wouldn’t think of that, I’d only think of it being a real bad joke.I will lead the Pikmin army against the PS3 fanatics, they’ll get a bite outta nature.I think that the next one will make some people laugh themselves to death (that’d make a good fanfic, of course it’d be a ripoff of Monty Python’s jokes)

    Well, we’ll have to persuade Glitch from Metal Arms to join the nintendo army. Along with other third partiers.

    Ok if were picking weapons and armour here ill have Snakes Stealth Camouflage (Metal Gear Solid), Fox’s Arwing (StarFox), Mario’s Metal Suit (Mario 64) Link’s Master Sword, Golden Gauntlets, Bow & Light Arrow, Red & Blue Tunics (Zelda) and ill steal Cloud’s Knights of the Round Summon Materia from Final Fantasy VII, lol lets see anyone take me on now mwahahahahahar.

    Robert-UK said:

    Ok if were picking weapons and armour here ill have Snakes Stealth Camouflage (Metal Gear Solid), Fox’s Arwing (StarFox), Mario’s Metal Suit (Mario 64) Link’s Master Sword, Golden Gauntlets, Bow & Light Arrow, Red & Blue Tunics (Zelda) and ill steal Cloud’s Knights of the Round Summon Materia from Final Fantasy VII, lol lets see anyone take me on now mwahahahahahar.

    haha funny!!

    Katana and GoldenEye 007 Golden gun with super smash bros. melee stealth generator thingy. I win. And if you want to go a step further, I’ll bring in a Daishi from MechWarrior. Or just a Death Star.

    I got a way *shows Robert a picture of Tingle, and Robert runs off leaving all the equipment behind* You do know that Snake’s Stealth Camo is a SSBB box? *hides in a couch, waiting to pounce someone with a water gun*And now, time to play Super Smash Bros. Melee *pulls up an entertainment center with electricity, games, and a mini television; puts in SSBM* Ok, now to go face off Master Hand.You know, Master Hand looked like a real hand in SSBM, so in SSBB, he’ll look like a white glove (very detailed, like stitches and the related stuff) Now, to wait.

    Pfff Master Hand if you want a challenge try Event Match 51 where you face off against Giga Bowser, Mewtwo and Ganondorf who all have three lives and you only have one, pure psychological torture.

    BTW that picture of Tingle wouldnt make me run away, it would make me run away SCREAMING.

    Great story. I like the way you mix things up a bit to make them a bit funny.

    Robert-UK said:

    BTW that picture of Tingle wouldnt make me run away, it would make me run away SCREAMING.

    HAHAHAHAHAHAHAAA!

    Link isn’t really mentioned much here in the story, while everyone else get somewhat the same amount of attention.

    I would have the master sword reforged with the power of Darkness (and Timgle) infused in it. Take me on, people!! Or Alondite from Path of Radience. A suit of impenetrable armour would be nice as well… :)

    First, funny article TML.

    Second, If I had to pick an “army” to support… well, it would be all of them. ;)

    shadowknight said:

    I would have the master sword reforged with the power of Darkness (and Timgle) infused in it.

    Then you better watch out if it starts shaking when fairies are around (then again it’ll make a nice Robert repellent) I’d have the power of all things that are plant-like at my control.And Mythril would be a nice suit of armor, too.First, w’ll attack the bandicoot (in chess, one must go through the pawns in order to reach the king) then we will send Navi and Tingle* to Sony and nag them into submission, then take out the remaining forces with Kirby, until he’s well fed, then we’ll go SSB on them, then we go and attack Microsoft with people in Form Spheres and attack them once inside, then bring out the *Naggers to nag the king, then take out the rest of the Halo troops.

    We’ll combine forces with all of the Nintendo games! Rare may have left for Microsoft, but they left the Jet Force Gemini weapons behind. Add the rest of the Nintendo crew to that, and Snake, now that he’s in SSBB.

    Mario, Link, Samus, Kirby, Juno, Vela, Lupus, the Star Fox team will lead most of Nintendo’s army to link up with Master Chief to attack Sony. Wario will offer Sony’s mercenaries, Insomniac, Naughty Dog, Square Enix, and everyone else a better deal so they can side with us!!!

    Or… heres another great Idea, we can have Seven Elements, like the seven sages in Oot, and I could be the general for shadow, HH for forest and so on… TML ought to be time.. anyway, then we could command leigions of our own forces. I might send Majora’s Wrath after Microsoft, because they dont have a Link to fight it!! :D

    Master Chief… why would we join forces with Microsoft?

    Robert-UK said:

    Master Chief… why would we join forces with Microsoft?

    To backstab later? I’ll be busy, I’m learning Sephiroth’s moves to use against him.

    This is a spoiler, if you dislike these, don’t read the rest of this comment, thankyou:

    In Star Fox: Assault, near the end of the Story Mode, Peppy Hare crashes the brand new Great Fox into an alien forcefield in order to let the rest of Star Fox-and Star Wolf-into the core of the mechanized planet to reach the queen in the core.

    Spoiler over :D
    So we can get something like the Giant Fish o’ Doom into their buildings and camps and leave them open to attack.Hey, does anyone have necter, or plant food, because *Pikmin swarm everywhere*

    We should send Tingle in there, he would really *Navi* Microsoft up and Master Chief would run screaming for his mommy.

    BTW ive forgotten what the Giant Fish o’Doom is, can anyone remind me?

    Its the water boss from Majora’s Mask. Brrr, that was hard!!

    I got a good idea, why don’t we combine all known plans and use them together?We attack capms with Tingle and Gyorg (Giant Evil Fish o’ Doom) into buildings and camps, then create the Eleven Elemental Generals, in this order: Light, Forest (I call dibs), Fire, Water, Shadow, Spirit, Earth, Wind, Seasons, Ages, and Secrets.Then combine all characters from the Nintendo games, then we suit up like anyone in any game, even if its not someone in Nintendo.Then finally, all is done in chess, take out the pawns, take ferosious, but well thought-out plans, and take the king (aka Master Chief and anyone else) mercilessly.Then, we get to celebrate for a while, because there is a real big cliche in video games, major bad guys or competitors will always come back.TML, do you think this is a perfect follow-up of W-II?

    We should get the Seven Sages to lock Microsoft and the evil one Bill Gates *shudder* in the void of the Evil Realm for all eternity… and at the last moment throw Tingle in, lol.

    Isn’t Mr. Gates the one who made the Internet?I used general insted of Sages, because we may have some wisdom, but not enough to bring us to Sage level, more like a parent level, so I used General, plus, each of us gets an Element (TML can get Ages, because it’s similar to Time) Would you like Water, Robert?This battle would be real if someone would make a comic of it, or a Fan-Fic (both must say, “Created by TML.” as so not to be thought of theivery) or done over a RP-ing Chat board or something.I can’t wait for TML’s next metafiction.

    I think the initial ideas for the internet was started by some British guy but Bill Gates took it further, besides not even Bill *terrible hair style* Gates could have forseen what the Internet evolved into.

    BTW ill take Water or Shadow Dr H.Hero.

    shadowknight already called shadow, so water for you.And Dr.H.Hero is a RP character, so he’s more like a clone of me, only more sinister and such, I myself had the perfect plan for world dominence (and there’s no violence, except for excessive screaming) but I happen to blurt it out in some past subject.Anyways, I hope this merged plan (anyone can add on to it, making it more complex but possibly more useful) will let us take on the opposing gaming capitals of Sonia and Microsoftesia.I have gotten new weapons for this war, pirate and ninja weapons, useful if you know how to use them.

    Ok H Hero sounds cool so what kind of water powers do I get?

    BTW news just in and it seems that both Ridley and Dark Samus are back for more in Metroid Prime 3: Corruption, *screaming* why wont they diiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiieeeeeeeeeee?

    Can I join in? (I’m a new member)

    Sure M Warrior we accept anyone here.

    Best metafic yet, TML! So epically written, yet, so true. It could also be mentioned that General Sonic, after the Sega Army’s downfall, offered to help Nintendo’s army in any way they could.

    Cool metafic!

    Stick around M Warrior TML has plenty more where that came from, lol.

    BTW beware the crazy one called Hyruliam Hero , woooooooooooo, lol.

    Dr.H.Hero: Robert, I have come for you *lightning strikes* Time to go to your… “happy place” shall we say? DA DA DAAAAAAA!
    HH: *comes in with a roast cucco* Wazzup?Oh, hello clone of me.
    Dr.H.Hero: Greetings.Shall I take away Robert }=D ?
    HH: He’ll come back, so yeah (since he spelt my name with an “m”) anyways, welcome to ZB M warrior, here we have discussions (luckily they’re usually done like fully MENTALLY mature adults) laughs, little metafics (done by us readers) or articles (from the Big man TML or his competition Darth Citrus) to just news and updates of the Zelda Community (ZC) and it would be more serious if Robert and I never came (heheh, just kidding) and we all get together to make peace and harmony in the ZC (except for this subject, for its about war) and if you go over the whole thing, you’ll learn of our plans to (for pretend) attack Sony and Microsoft.And the Giant Evil Fish o’ Doom is Gyorg (water boss of MM) I dunno why people are scared of it though.

    What should we do with Crash Bandicoot when we defeat Sony, should we Crucify him along with Spiro. What about characters like Lara Croft, they appear on PS2, X-BOX amd now GameCube… do we let her and others like her live?

    Btw dont mind H.Hero M Warrior he and I are not as immature as he says its just that… we both have an unusual sense of humour, lol.

    If the character is in multiple companies, they only live if they show up on anything Nintendo (but that doesn’t mean we won’t make them do heavy duty, like plumbing for ZB, *evil laugh*) Now all we need is an alien tamer so we can get the MM aliens on our side (I call shotgun for the “War of the World” machines!) One word of advice for anyone who goes out there now (Sony and Microsoft already started) and it’s, “Bring a cucco with you, it’ll prove miraculous (and not to eat either).” Well, now to spy on Sony *disappears*
    Dr.H.Hero: That leaves you and I Robert *holds up a tranquilizer gun* Mwahahahahahahahahahahahahahahaaa!!! *holds up a radio* Bring in, the “Happy Cage.” *more evil laughing*

    And what will happen to Sonic and friends once the ashes of the final war with the anti-christ have dispersed, what place will SEGA have in the great scheme of things once we have risen up and seized power and declared Shigeru Miyamoto San as the Supreme Ruler of the Earth for life with Koji Kodo as his Supreme Commander of the Armies of Nintendo, lol.

    BTW Erm Dr H.Hero I really think that this has gone far enough now, please ive had enough horse traquilizer for now, aww come on man… WHAT THE HECK IS THAT THING, noooooooooooo *tries to run for the window but instead is hit by a tranq dart and hits the ground unconscious*

    Mwahahahar now we can begin the precedure, said Dr H.Hero

    You said mature adults but sorry I had to say this but I’m twelve years old. Please don’t get angry with me *cries* I liked these conversations so I wanted to become a member. I can be mature most of the time but sometimes I like to add a little humor. *Crawls into a corner*

    Hey M Warrioir dont worry about it because we are a varied bunch of people from around the world (I myself am from England) age dosent even come in to it, all that matters is that you have a… how should I put it, well a love for Zelda so just say whatever comes to mind based on the Topic bud, lol.

    Whew, I said that because some person (with issues) had a problem with me being a few months under-aged in another website. I just wanted to be sure that I’m okay in this site.

    M Warrior said:

    You said mature adults but sorry I had to say this but I’m twelve years old. Please don’t get angry with me *cries* I liked these conversations so I wanted to become a member. I can be mature most of the time but sometimes I like to add a little humor. *Crawls into a corner*

    I was kidding, sorry, just follow the rules, if you add humor, make sure it’s related to the subject, and no posting more than once. Now we have a reason to keep up the rules, eh Robert (M Warrior, don’t ask ) now you got to use the *NAVI* censoring (reference to the website Exploding Deku NUT) anyways, those characters might live, but like I said earlier, they can do all the not-so-fun stuff (that toilet isn’t going to clean itself, y’know) but there’s always going to be fights, that is, until when all three companies join together to make something that Darth Citrus predicted when we wait for TP to come out (only to wait for our sun to collapse, that’s a long time) meheheheh.

    Dr.H.Hero: Robert created me, and HH uses me whenever Robert…gets out of hand.I’m basically HH’s clone, just more, sinister *evil laugh* BTW, the dart was used for the dinosaurs of Jurassic Park.
    HH: He also has a bigger ego.

    Anyways, I got one last part for the plan, you see, there’s a lot of enemies that only fight when there’s a sun in the sky, so we attack them after midnight, so we can take’em by surprise, and then we have ourselves so scared like *NAVI* and we have the upper advantage.The reason why after midnight: late night gaming!

    Some people on certain sites *I wont name names* can be a little elitist M Warrior but what they dont understand is that they are doing more harm to the cause than good because this generation of gamers will die out within the next 80 years and we need the next generation to carry on the fight and keep Zelda alive in their hearts, lol.

    BTW Im gonna live forever mwahahahahar.

    Robert-UK said:

    BTW Im gonna live forever mwahahahahar.

    What are you?Some terminator from England or something?I got the war results for the battle between Sony and Microsoft, and the winner is…………………………………………
    Microsoft (for the HALO army and tech.) and our super spies have gotten info on Microsoft’s newest weapon, the traitor by the name of…Tingle *lightning strikes, mountains crumble, and Robert runs and screams* Darn cardboard mountains.Thanks to Jack and his website (The Desert Colossus) I know many of Tingle’s weaknesses.We strike at June 3rd.

    Samus Aran would whipe the floor with that pathetic Master Chief, he wouldnt stand a chance. Damn you Tingle, I never liked or trusted you *shakes fist in anger*.

    I got an idea, We use double-agents to find out secrets to destroy Microsoft from the inside. Then we go into a new war, the war against Tingle and his army of annoyances!

    Good idea, we attack at dawn, have at thee Bill gates, mwahahahar.

    BTW Ahhhhh looks like M Warrior wants to join in on our insanity Hyrulian Hero, should we introduce him to Dr. H. Hero & his new partner Dr. R. UK?

    You’re not the only two people who likes to make up stuff to have fun.Mwuhahahahahaa*coughs like an old man*

    Dr.H.Hero: Don’t forget Dr.M.Warrior *evil laugh* you have to get your own laugh, Dr.R.UK. Faxkei, we must prepare for the ultimate war of Nintendo vs. Microsoft.
    Faxkei: As soon as I find Klinx and Xelzad.We are also testing the ability of many light items, such as Link’s Light arrows, and Samus’ Light suit (MP2:E) and many other that you have not learned because of you being solely a Zelda fan.
    *both disappear in a white light, with confetti flying out*
    HH: What the *Navi* just happened? Speaking of Navi, why don’t we have a HTML thing with Navi’s head, you know, to make a little pic of our annoying little friend (who is actually one of many secret weapons) to come up whenever we want to censor a cursing word.Anyways, hopefully, we will win this battle, since I got the permission to use the same weapons from the popular anime, Naruto (I learned it’ll be a Nintendo battle game :D ) so I’ll be happier to fight this battle, and finally, our ninja spies told us that the building for Microsoft (MS from now on) is hidden, and has security that makes the Queen of England jealous ( *NAVI* that’s good security) so once we find it, we’ll have it.And before anyone asks, how are the ninjas able to know what the stuff are, they found it, and got caught, so we need a rescue team.
    Dr.H.Hero: *returns from the kitchen* It’s fun rading the ZB fridge.Anyways, we National Awesomedoctors (we made up the word) Global, or N.A.G. , will use the army for the frontal attack, while you and the webmasters will go rescue the ninjas.
    HH: Why?
    Dr.H.Hero: They are millionars.
    HH: Let’s get ready, guys! One last word of advice before we begin the battle, Don’t drink milk on a hot day, your preformance at Nintendo games may result into milk addictions (I know from experience) *drinks a glass of milk*

    Too late…*Drinks a glass of chocolate milk* mmmmmm…chocolate. Anyways I don’t buy a lot of games so I don’t have that kind of knowledge but I do know a thing or two. We can use Sonic and Shadow’s speed to our advantage by taking out the gaurds and security cameras. We can also use the Bombos, Ether, and Quake Medallions from ALTTP against the Halo troops by Freezing(Ether), Burning(Bombos), or turning the grounded troops into easy-to-kill living pataoes(Quake)! What do you think about this plan?^_^

    Dr.H.Hero: Good plan, but in order to do so, how do we find them, since the ninjas never got back?Plus, they got big weapons, alien forces, and Tingle might I add, for he is invincible except for eggplants and soap.And I hear he has thirteen hearts, so we need to find a silver stake, and he does have brothers, so we could confuse for one of them. One last thing about Tingle, the last resort is an arrow to the back.Trust me, it’ll work (but it’s more fun with the torturing items)

    Dr.R.UK: I have the perfect man for the job, may I present the newest soldier to the cause *ominous music plays in the background* the result of my latest experiment/crime against humanity, Mecha Bill Gates Mwahahahahahar *A door opens in the wall and Bill Gates walks out* whome do you serve, you master said MBG. Yes I recent captured Old Bill and performed some light brain surgery on him transforming him into what I call a Cyberman. *Dr Who shouts in the background- Rip off, rip off* shut up nobody asked you Who, mwahahahahar he shall be our inside man… erm cyberman, lol

    Robert-UK said:

    Dr.R.UK: I have the perfect man for the job, may I present the newest soldier to the cause *ominous music plays in the background* the result of my latest experiment/crime against humanity, Mecha Bill Gates Mwahahahahahar *A door opens in the wall and Bill Gates walks out* whome do you serve, you master said MBG. Yes I recent captured Old Bill and performed some light brain surgery on him transforming him into what I call a Cyberman. *Dr Who shouts in the background- Rip off, rip off* shut up nobody asked you Who, mwahahahahar he shall be our inside man… erm cyberman, lol

    Yes, but wouldn’t that set off the metal detectors.I can help out.I know how to work with a bio-mechanical alien technology that makes it look and feel like flesh (on the outside of course) and this technology also allows the mech to bring up a weapon like pulling a stone out of water, where it won’t necesserily leave anything open, and he can rebuild himself, in battle, so this should be useful, but mind you, if you tamper with it, it’ll recreate a program I took out of the technology that allows it to pass on to other organic material, making them like the original, because the tech was designied to let this machine to bypass evolution, so trust me, I know how to control all of it’s functions, I have duplicated an army of this (and they can fuse together to make more fiercer machines) and it’s bades off of a Nintendo enemy (not Zelda, though) so technically, I’m using Nintendo stuff, and I’ll only bring up these machines ONLY if we start losing, but our power should suffice to the point where this battle should be easy.Of course, we also have another enemy that started as a popular website (not related to Nintendo) and it has a game in Sony, so we should watch out for them.

    About Tingle and his brothers, you see, David Jr. is not Tingle’s brother and David Jr. hates Tingle so we can get him to join our side. He probably knows Microsoft’s whereabouts so we can make him one of our double-agents that I mentioned earlier.*Calls David Jr. through the Tingle Tuner*
    Me: May I speak to David Jr.
    Tingle: Sure, who is Tingle speaking to?
    Me: Uuuuuh, one of microsoft’s soldiers?
    Tingle: Ok, Tingle, Tingle, Koolah Limpah!*disappears*
    Me: Heh heh gullible moron.
    David Jr.: Who’s this?
    Me: I got an offer you can’t refuse.
    DJ: What?
    Me: You hate Tingle, right?
    DJ: More than anything!
    Me: How about rejoining Nintendo, you can be one of our double-agents.
    DJ: What do I get in return?
    Me: The death of Tingle, Ankle, and Knuckle.
    DJ: Deal!

    Here’s the match-up:
    Samus-Master Chief:Samus will wipe the floor with him.
    Mario-Sonic:Sonic will get all of his fur and spikes plucked out by Mario, and if Knuckles and Tails show up, Luigi and Peach are there to help kick *navi*.
    Link-Crash:Please.

    Nintendo’s mascots are obviously ready to kick some Microsoft and Sony navi*.

    I see we have more ZBloggers. Thats a good sign too, we’re becoming more popular. Anyways, one day I may bring up this subject again, only in my own website (granted if I can get the inspiration to do so) so, I’m going to bookmark this, and maybe I’ll start something by the end of the summer. This is one of TML’s best subjects, it actually inspired me more to make a website, but for now, I’m a normal Zelda Fan, waiting for comedy to come up. TML, when is the next Whose Blog? auditions, I may have some good things by then.