My apologies to those of you who were waiting for this article 3 days ago. I’ve been busy these last few weeks working on this. Then, I’ve been busy these last few days catching up on all the homework I neglected.
Anyway, I’ve always wondered what happened when Ganondorf rose to power. Specifically how he took over Hyrule, how the different races responded and so forth. But what always interested me the most is how each one reacted when Ganondorf attacked.
Obviously, we see that Hylian, Kokiri, Goron, Gerudo and even Zora had their defences overrun. Citizens had no place to flee as every region of Hyrule succumbed to Ganondorf’s forces.
Thus welcome to another edition of A Somewhat Serious Article. This edition deals with what Hyrule should have done when it came under attack. This survival plan is called: ITEOHDGYCARLNFLLR, “In The Event Of Hyrule’s Destruction, Grab Your Children And Run Like *Navi* For Lon Lon Ranch.
Yeah that’s right, Lon Lon Ranch.
If you’ve played Ocarina of Time, you’ll notice that in the land has been entirely ravaged. Enemies run rampant, and no place is safe at all.
Lon Lon Ranch is located in the middle of Hyrule Field. The ranch itself is elevated above the field and is fortified by a heavy gate at its entrance. As many of you know, Ingo, cheats Talon out of the ranch, and is allowed to run the ranch by the permission of Ganondorf.
Which makes it the perfect place to run to.
Now before any of you tell me that its so unprotected, let me run by you a list of Hyrule’s so called “Strongholds”
Lost Woods/Kokiri Forest – A vast forest surrounded by dense trees. Apart from difficulties in Navagation, the Lost Woods is an almost impregnable maze making the Sacred Forest Meadow a safe place to run to during an attack.
Outcome: Defeated by a horde of Moblins and wild plants.
Outcome: Defeated by a single fire breathing dragon and a few tektites.
Outcome: Defeated by ICE
Outcome: If they had to wait it out a few more years? Probably starvation.
Outcome: Defeated by Bongo Bongo
Outcome: Defeated by Stupidity
You see all the regions that are colored. Those are the so called fortresses that fell one by one. Now they’re part of the nation of Ganonland.
Now take a look at the bright spot in the middle? You know what that is? That’s HOPE my friends.
That’s what makes Lon Lon Ranch so invincible. It’s smack in the middle of a field and takes no pains to fortify itself. I mean it leaves its gate wide open during the day for crying out loud.
You’ll note that while all these other places have enemies guarding it, Lon Lon Ranch only has Ingo. For one, Ingo is a wuss. If everyone decided to flock to Lon Lon Ranch, there’d be nothing he could do about it. Except go home and cry to his momma.
Once everyone is in the ranch, the rebels, (we might as well call them that as this point) would have a stiking point to attack Ganon’s Castle. Heck, they might even be able to defeat him (hold your breath) without the Hero of Time! *GASP* *SHOCK* *FAINT* *EXPLODE*
Now this whole ITEOHDGYCARLNFLLR plan is just a humble suggestion on my part. But let’s be honest. If people actually took my freaking advice, Frodo would have flown with the eagles and dropped the ring from the SKY, and Luke wouldn’t have got his hand cut off if he just WALKED AWAY!
Nope, not bitter. Not bitter at all.
I’m just saying that after having your nation occupied over and over and over, you’d think the people would have some sort of escape plan or something. Just like those people did in Helm’s Deep. Then when all hope is lost, an entire army of Hyrule’s best would come in and own them all.
Ah who am I kidding? Every time Ganon attacks, Hyrule’s army just evaporates like a glass of water sitting outside for a week.
Hmm, that wasn’t a very good analogy.
However it would be an interesting topic to talk about. But that little scenario will have to wait some other time, as we again come to the end of A Somewhat Serious Article.Follow This Entry | Leave a Response | Trackback
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