First of all, what the *Navi* are you people doing on Zelda Blog right now?! Its midnight! The New Year! Out with the old, in with the new and all that. Get out there and watch the ball drop or something.
But since you are here, you might as well read my article.
As everyone knows, the Bottom of the Well is an essential part of Ocarina of Time. It houses the legendary Lens of Truth which is needed to complete the Shadow Temple.
Now I’m not one to criticize the hiding place of such a magical artifact. After all, who would ever think about searching for treasure at the bottom of a well. For one it (was) flooded. Two it was hidden within a simple tomb. And three it was guarded by dozens of undead.
There’s just one little thing that’s bothering me.
DID ANYONE REALIZE THEY WERE DRINKING THIS WATER?!
With that intro, I welcome you to another edition of A Somewhat Serious Article. This edition takes a look at BOTTOM OF THE WELL WATER.
As most of you know, when Bongo Bongo attacks Kakariko Village, Link needs to enter the Shadow Temple to dispatch him. One of the most essential items needed in that temple is the Lens of Truth. After talking with a few of the residents, Link discovers from the windmill dude that some kid drained the well 7 years ago.
3 hours of pondering later, Link finally realizes that kid was him, and sets off to the past. He enters the windmill, plays the song of storms and drains the well. Entering the bottom of the well, he is immediately attacked by a ReDead.
Let’s stop and think about this for a second. Please repeat the phrase out loud: “he is immediately attacked by a ReDead”. Read it again. “he is immediately attacked by a ReDead”. Try it even slower. “heeeee isssss immeeeeeediately attacked by a ReeeeeDead”.
What in the blue blazing *Navi* is a ReDead doing at the bottom of a well?! Actually, what in the blue blazing *Navi* is dozens of ReDeads, with baddies surrounding a freaking TOMB, doing at the bottom of a well?! I’m pretty sure that various undead minions that have been rotting for decades would be pretty unhealthy if it happened to contaminate the drinking water of an entire town.
Before I get any remarks that “they could have just drank from the stream” let me ask you this.
You’re sleeping quite peacefully in the middle of the night when you’re awakened by your little sister. She’s tired, cranky and wants some water. There’s a glass of clean water within arms reach. Assuming there is nothing wrong with this glass, is there anyone in the history of the world that would walk down two flights of stairs, grab another cup, turn on the faucet, and get water that way?
Now picture the same scenario, only in Kakariko Village. I’m not hiking down to a stream if there’s a well right there.
Well maybe I would if I knew beforehand what was in the water.
So just to throw this out there, was absolutely no one aware about this? And if they were, was no one disgusted enough to do something about it?
If you ask me, I think the Sage of Shadow should take the blame for this one. Just because Impa was working at the castle it doesn’t relieve her of her responsibilities. Maybe she’ll do something about it when the whole *Naving* town turns into ReDeads.
So what is the point of the article? Simple. I think that Windmill guy shouldn’t be so cranky that the well is dry in the future. For all we know, Link saved him from a horrible life of eternal undeath. Maybe in the future the residents will learn something from this, and won’t drill a well right next to the air vent of a century old tomb.
Besides I don’t want to inspect my water every time I take a drink. I think the residents should be glad in way that there was nothing worse in the well.
And no, I don’t know what would be worse than a ReDead in your drinking water.
So, if you’re going to make any New Year’s resolution for 2006, I would suggest that you take some time and double check the water you’re drinking. Who knows, your next sip could be your last.
And at last the New Year is upon us. Let’s sit back, raise our glasses of freshly drawn well water and toast to the New Year. Let us hope that 2006 brings us all that we expect: Twilight Princess, the Revolution, a great year at Zelda Blog, ReDead free drinking water, and of course more excellent editions of A Somewhat Serious Article.Follow This Entry
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