ZeldaBlog

A.S.S.A - Destroyer of Worlds

November 15th, 2005 at 2:22 am by Darth Citrus

Today I am writing on what is undoubtedly the most powerful weapon in the entire series. This weapon can quite easily be the plague of society, leveling complete cities and wiping out whole civilizations. “But what is this all powerful weapon?” you ask. The Hookshot? No. The Light Arrow? No. The Legendary Master Sword, Bane of all Evil? No.

The Boomerang from Link’s Awakening.

Surprising isn’t it. You would expect a weapon of such power to be at least a sword or something. But it isn’t. It’s this child’s toy found in a cave along the beach of Koholint Island. Yes it’s this boomerang that spells doom of people everywhere. That’s the topic of todays edition of A Somewhat Serious Article: DESTROYER OF WORLDS

First off, boomerangs have never been realistic in the Zelda games to start with. For one those stupid things can some how always find their way back to Link. It doesn’t matter if he moves or not. They always return to him.

Now I have tried throwing boomerangs before, both the two armed and three armed kind. For one, I have never gotten the distance that Link acheives in the games. Second of all, I can’t even throw it fast enough to stun a full grown Octocrok. And third, they don’t return to me if I move a few steps to the left or the right.

But again the world of Hyrule is a wonderful place, full of magic, fairies and great princes of evil. Therefore let’s overlook this curiosity and observe at how boomerangs would work normally in the Zelda world.

In the Zelda world, boomerangs when thrown will return to its owner no matter where he/she is. Boomerangs can target multiple objects on its own, and can somehow carry enough kinetic energy to stun a Moblin. And if there’s something like glass between Link and the said boomerang, it will some how still return to Link through it.

Enter Link’s Awakening. The boomerang in this game follows the typical Zelda rules. Returns to owner, stuns enemies, yadda yadda yadda. What is different is its attacking power.

If you’ve played the game, you’ll know. Take out the boomerang when fighting the shadow dudes in the Wind Fish Egg. On the last transformation, (The weird looking one) aim the boomerang for the middle and throw. Boom. Game Over.

That’s it. Interesting huh? Has there been a final boss in the history of the world that has been defeated that fast?

There hasn’t. At least not to my knowledge. That’s what makes this boomerang a Zelda curiosity. If you know your physics you’ll know that the boomerang has to travel the distance to the enemy, transfer enough energy to make a killing blow, and STILL have the kinetic energy,and momentum to return to Link.

Possible? No. First off, the formula for kinetic energy is E=(mv^2)/2

E = energy
m = mass
v = velocity

With that equation there are only two ways that the boomerang can be insanely stronger than say the boomerangs from LoZ or LTTP. The boomerang is either incredibly heavy (mass), or Link is throwing with the speed of a space shuttle (velocity). Judging by the game, I think we can eliminate both of these.

So then, how is the boomerang so incredibly strong? Magic? That is one option. However another question arises. How does the boomerang stun some enemies, and then manage to kill the final boss in one hit? No, I don’t think magic can be the answer here either.

To quote Sherlock Holmes, “when the impossible has been eliminated, the residuum, however improbable, must contain the truth.” Meaning, since we’ve found everything the boomerang can’t do, the last explanation must be correct no matter how crazy it is.

Since the boomerang isn’t super heavy, thrown super fast, and finally not magical, there is only one option left. The final boss is simply a wuss. That’s right, a wuss. A creature made of complete darkness that is able to take direct sword blows to the head. Yet this dinky little wooden boomerang kills him in one hit. Heck, I’ve been hit in the head with a boomerang before and survived. By all means, I should be the final boss of Link’s Awakening.

Of course, that’s not to say that the boomerang isn’t special in its own way. If Link throws it while flying (Holding on to a cucco) it simply orbits Link forever, attacking everything in its path. It’s probably the only weapon that when used like that, can attack cuccos forever. That in itself makes it a pretty strong weapon.

Also…..Spoiler warning for those who haven’t played Link’s Awakening yet.

I mean it; don’t keep reading unless you’ve finished the game.

Anyway, even if the boss is a wuss, that boomerang still killed him off. That allowed the Wind Fish to awaken, and send Link back to Hyrule, destroying Koholint in the process. So it is in reality, Super Boomerang “Destroyer of Worlds”.

But then why would such a powerful weapon be hidden in a place where reading a simple library book would tell you its location. Also, why would the guy in the cave be so willing to trade it for a shovel? Was he so isolated in that cave that he never discovered its planet crushing powers? And another thing, why was he in the cave in the first place?

Ahhh, the more I think about this, the more my head hurts. My brain is spinning trying to figure this out, and I can even feel my immune system shutting down. On top of that I think I’m coming down with a cold. A cold brought on by writing, A Somewhat Serious Article.

Filed under Humor, Link's Awakening, A.S.S.A.

Follow This Entry

56 Messages from the Gossip Stones about “A.S.S.A - Destroyer of Worlds”

Trackbacks & Pingbacks

  • Trackback from Exploding Deku Nut:

A.S.S.A Archive

Comments

We should redo LA and have Darth Citrus be the final boss!

I’m sorry your immune system is shutting down that is not good! >.

Hey it didn’t put in the whole thing!

What I said was- Again, Darth Citrus, you amaze me.

Whoa, you read that pretty fast. Did you figure out my posting schedule? :D

link’s boomarang on TP has this green glow when you throw it, is it magical?

And then you can control it in the newer zelda’s. It is too powerful.

I recall having immense trouble beating the final boss of LA. If only I’d read A Somewhat Serious Article before hand. ;) Another great article DC, hope that cold clears up soon!

Ah, but E=mc² as well, and so ha! You are pwned!! Or something. ;)

To dark link: The Boomerang in TP is going to be a boomerang of wind. It creates tornados that follow its flight path!

Oh and to Darth Citrus: I was about to go to bed and I decided to just glance over here at the blog and I saw your article! So naturally I read and commented on it ^_^

Wouldnt it be funny if they made Shigeru Miyamoto or the ultra scary Hiroshi Yamauchi the final Boss in a Zelda game, even Ganondorf the King of Evil would run in terror from Hiroshi Yamauchi when he gets angry.

Hiroshi to Ganondorf - Dont make me angry, you wouldnt like me when im angry.

I skipped Physics class, but yeah that boomerang comes back no matter what, you just got to understand why they call it a “Magic Boomerang.” Without the magic part, it wouldn’t work.

BOOOOOOOMMERANG!!

ROTFL!! Yes, Darth Citrus, you SHOULD be the final boss in LA. Even your name sounds cooler…

hahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahaha… wait *breathes* hahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahaha!

I’ve got to try that now. Beating the final boss’ final form with only a blow from the boomerang? Learn something new everyday. xD

Darth Citrus, the boomerang still also has potential energy due to gravity and it also has rotational kinetic energy.

On a more serious note, something else of interest is that the boomerang in that game was horifically overpowered. You could attack an enemy, the ones that simply go around the blocks and pots (the name escapes me), and after a boomeranging, they would apperate a fairy.

That was some excellent writing. I eagerly look forward to your next A.S.S.A.

Maybe the reason why the boomerang killed the boss in one hit is that Link secretly put on the power glove before throwing it.

C’mon, the whole LA game is just a big dream! I would be more concered about TWW’s boomerang that can hit 5 really distant targets in any order, and still come back!

Nevertheless, still funny! :)

I seem to remember the final boss of LA taking almost a whole quiver of arrows in the eye before it threw in the towel, and yes it was impervious to sword blows. I think I’ve found the reason for it’s succeptability to the boomerang though: its allergic to wood!

Each and every one of us is from completely different places and completely different backgrounds but we all have one thing in common and that is our love for Zelda games, im guessing that most of you guys are from America (Am i the only Limey here?) but even so we all feel the same way about the games, its hard to put into words what I see in the Zelda games but I think you guys see it too well I guess what im trying to say is that Zelda manages to cross many social boundaries and unite us all under one banner

I’m from England!i love the boomerang , it’s one of my favourite weapons.

If I’m correct, your next post will be on the evening of december 1st

this is one of the best assa’s so far, by the way

Thank you. :D Yes you are correct, though considering I have finals on December 2nd, I may have to write that article in advance.

And I’m from Canada. btw. :P

the new boomrang in TP is cool! isaw in that trailer when link throws it at a big spider. ^_^

waitwaitwait theres a bomerang in la?????????????????????????

Yes, its a secret item, but yet so powerful its ridiculus. Thats what the article is about. :P

Why is it so Powerful?………….Oh oh it’s MAGIC!

MWHAHAHAHAHA FEAR THE BOOMERANG!!

No, seriously… it really does scare me, too. And how does it manage to turn jinxes into fairies? That’s what confuses me even more.

Theory:The staff for the game had a horrible trauma with the boomerang, and they fear it.The TP boomerang is called The Gale Boomerang, and when charged, it can whip up a twister, so with that, Link has mastered the wind.

Not the Hero of Winds again, PLEASE GOD NO

*uses the Gale boomerang on Robert-UK* hey its the Hero of Winds or Tingle of Red Undies.Which will it be?

HERO OF WINDS, HERO OF WINDS EVERY TIME. To *NAVI* with Tingle of the Red Undies… but I would still prefer the heroic title of Hero of Time, lol

*uses ice rod and ether medallion on Robert-UK* just chill (pun intended) I like the title, Hero of Winds, don’t mock TWW.Why fear the wooden boomerang, when you could fear either Ruto’s Love boomerang, or Tingle’s Sick Boomerang (to me, both)

*uses Bombos medallion and ice arrow on Hyrulian Hero* i didnt say that TWW was a bad game I just kept thinking up bad fart jokes every time I played the game, and another thing Tingle was bad enough but WHY did they have to give him brothers AND dont get me started on Knuckle who the *Navi* would want to dress, talk and act like that freak Tingle.

I see someone made a point *removes arrow*ouch!Is this ASSA about Tingle or about boomerangs?I wouild love to hear what people would have to say ’bout him.So, back to the Destroyer of worlds, is it stronger than avada kedavera?Is it stoppable?Is it tamable?All we can do is test *eyes on navi*

The Boomerang is ALL powerful, FEAR IT

Actually.. Use the Top Spin attack on Gamma in MegaMan 3. Do it proper, and he’s down in one hit.

Booyah.

After conducting the the tests on the power of the boomerang, it is stoppable, tamable, and very destructive.They are like lightsabres, which means…(to be continued)

What about the Zora Fin Boomerangs from Majoras Mask, are they more or just as powerful?

You can use them on tingle, and they stun with electricity, so we can say…just as powerful, in their own way.Each boomerang in each game has its own power.I like the FSA Lv 2 boomerang, its faster, shinier, longer range, and you can use telekinesis to hold it in place (take that green weirdo in red undies)

THAT’S IT!!!I HAVE DISCOVERED HOW THE BOOMERANG CAN BE THE DESTROYER OF WORLDS!!!Telekinesis, or more (scientifically) correct, Psychokinesis.Link, being a hylian, not can only recieve messages from Zelda and others, but can use PK to control the boomerang, so it goes farther, stronger, and always comes back.In the WW, Link used his thoughts to send the boomerang to hit five targets at a time.In FSA, he could keep it in place at will.In MC, he could make it curve in certain directions, and finally, in the this to solve all, he used the boomerang to put splinters in Nightmare’s Eye (ouch.)Plus, according to the ancient Australian legends, the boomerang has magical qualities, which affects our little hero’s mind.I would study this more, but my meter is about to run out and i need to restart my over ever 187 hours, and its about to run out, so good night folks (and hope I get to it in time) *zooms out of view, leaving everyone thankyou presents, half eaten, chocolates*

*gets hit with a boomerang* Mangerai Jack! *world blows up*
O.o
Wow. That’s one helluva first post.
Andyway, (yes done on porpoise) that was good reading. Gooood.

Well, I must say that this topic has stirred my intrest, and long dormant mind, so I say, HAIL THE BOOMERANG! HAIL THE BOOMERANG!

No, you simple hylians, the boomerang can be controlled, like Yu-Gi-Oh monsters.*mysterious voice from the ceiling* “From where HH left off at a certain post” Ok ’tis me again, anyways, boomerangs of all kinds are like lightsabres, so that can defeat every thing, but they can only be stop by another boomerang.DC, you now have, a new laser weapon, the light boomerang (now available in green, blue, purple, white, or red)

Long live the ALL POWERFUL duel Zora Boomerangs, fighting as a Zora Kung-Fuu style was ALWAYS so cool, and why does Goron Link sound like Barney Gumble from the Simpsons?

Don’t ask me, I don’t watch it.I have a list of favorite boomerangs.1.The MM Dual Zora boomerang (electrifying, pun intended) 2.The TWW Five Shot Boomerang.3.FSA Lv2 Boomerang.4.MC Swerving Boomerang.5.The Gale Boomerang.Finally, 6.ALttP Blue Boomerang.These are special in their own way, equaling to the most powerful sword in each game.

Ah the Blue Magic Boomerang such happy memories, I remember finding it and the red shield for the first time damn thats it im going to play every single Zelda game in the order of release now so laters, lol

The Blue Boomerang is the one and only one capable of going mach ten.How?’Tis a glitch.First, throw the boomerang one direction, then, you must dash do the longest street in Kakariko village opposite direction, then it goes ’round the world, never stopping.It is the predessesor to the LA one, the Splinter Boomerang.

If you think that Boomerang is powerful, you need to see a Twilight Princess trailer. The Gale Boomerang. Now that is powerful!

EDIT by Darth Citrus: Please do not advertise your sites in the comments section of the blog. Thank you.

But nothing is as powerful as the LA boomerang.

Wasnt there a Bomb Boomerang, or was it a Bomb Arrow?

I think that’s where you place down a bomb and then shoot the bomb with an arrow and the bomb moves with the arrow exploding on contact. That was pretty cool

Bomb arrow.Now, if I could find my MC game, maybe I can see if I can beat Vaati wiht it.

The boomerang, as I remember, killed a host of other badguys in one shot as well.

Though my favorite was the OoS boomerang, had much more control than the MC one. I’ll never forget that insanely hard peice in the Heroe’s Cave, where there was a twisting path you had to guide the boomerang through. After 50 tries, I thought it was impossible. Then I had a DOH! moment, and used the return through objects bug to hit the switch.

See people, this weapon can be harnessed.What else do we have?