I didn’t plan for this article to come out around Halloween. I don’t even celebrate it. But it’s an odd coincidence that this one happened to be the next one on my list.
I have found that most people walk around blissfully unaware of what to do if they are attacked by a ReDead. A new poll done in my head shows that 91% of all people would be eaten by a ReDead within the first few hours of Ganon’s rise to power. Therefore, I have compiled some useful information in this edition of A Somewhat Serious Article: KNOW YOUR REDEAD.
When the prey is immobilized, ReDeads take their time walking toward you, in which case the smart ones will “get the *Navi* out of there”. Those that are more inclined to see what the ReDead is up to, will get jumped on and eaten. Do NOT be one of those people.
1. Spend your childhood growing up in a forest being the only child that ages. When the time comes, pull out the Master Sword and wait 7 years. Use as necessary.
2. (Females Only) Become the Princess of Hyrule. Suspect a plot within the castle BUT TELL ONLY ANOTHER CHILD. When the time is right, have your nursemaid flee with you from the castle and learn the ways of the Sheikah.
3. Become a ReDead yourself.
For those of you that can’t or don’t want to do any of the three, here is some practical advice to aid your survival:
If you’re the ranged kind of person, you’re going to want a bow and some fire arrows. Head over to Lake Hylia and shoot a normal arrow into the sun. Pick up the one that comes back. Repeat.
- Ganon’s Tower
- Hyrule Market (What’s left of it)
- Tombs (No matter how cool they may seem)
- Ikana Canyon
- The Shadow Temple
- The Earth Temple
- Any sort of temple
- Any sort of dungeon
- Hyrule Field at Night
- Bottom of the Well (For whatever reason you have)
- Bars (You need to keep your wits about you. You can’t do that if your drunk)
Always carry your sword/bow/rock/plank around. Travel with people who know their way around Hyrule, and capture a few fairies just incase. Keep you head about you and you should be happy, safe, and ReDead free.
And finally, NEVER underestimate the ReDead’s ability to freeze you in your place. You may have trained yourself to withstand their screams, but they will always find a way to cause you pain.
I think that speaks for itself, as we once again come to the end of A Somewhat Serious Article.Follow This Entry | Read Other Posts by Darth Citrus
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