The Future of Zelda (Today!)

October 2nd, 2005 at 1:55 am by Jack

First of all, allow me to introduce myself. My name is Jack O’Reily, and as some of you may know, I am the webmaster of The Desert Colossus (TDC for short). Anyways, I’m sure we’ve all heard by now of Miyamoto’s terrifying comments concerning the future of the Zelda series. Namely,

“Please allow me to interrupt you by saying that you will have to be patient, really. This will be, without a doubt, the last Zelda game as you know it in its present form.”

Well, thankfully, I’m a celebrated savant in the field of dumpster diving, and I just happened to be poking around Nintendo Corporate Headquarters in Redmond, Washington (a slight detour from my usual stomping grounds in Boston, I assure you). My efforts were not for naught of course, as I discovered a few confidential memos that had been tossed out with the prerequisite pizza boxes and empty Jolt bottles. What those memos revealed may shock or amuse you.

Seemingly, Miyamoto was telling the truth. It appears Nintendo is really planning to pull a 210 in the Zelda series(ie. turning around and slightly to the left), moving away from the traditional (read: celebrated, enjoyed, preferred) Action-Adventure format and towards a menagerie of different genres to exploit every nook and cranny Zelda has to offer. As such, in the memos, there were a succession of new game concepts that I will now share with you. I hope you are reclining in a comfortable position.

Zelda Pinball – Utilize Goron Link’s rolling ability to traverse a vast new world of bumpers, tilts, and flippers all while you try to put a stop to Ganon’s latest evil scheme by getting a higher score than your friends.

Hyrule Snap! – Hop on Epona the horse as Link and don your trusty pictograph as you trot and gallop through the Overworld and Underworld of Hyrule, photographing the many creatures, monsters, and animals of the land and bringing together a vast portfolio of collected photos for Lenzo.

Dr. Link – Ganon is at it again, this time managing to poison the three Oracles with a deadly Biri parasite infestation. Shrink down within each oracle and quash the invasion with innovative retro-block dropping technology!

Zelda Hunters – The latest multiplayer title from the Zelda series pits the four Links against one another in brutal first-person combat. Connect with four other friends for hours upon hours of repetitive sword slashing combat and “arrrghhh!!” sounds.

Link is Missing! – Help Zelda travel across the world, restoring landmarks to their respective cities to defeat Ganon, all the while boring children of all nationalities and creeds.

Legend of Zelda DELUXE – No they didn’t add any new content, just a handy stationary printing feature that makes this somehow pass off as a “remixed” title. Ah, blind brand loyalty!

As you can see, the time has come to be afraid, very afraid. Though, I suppose, if the new Revolution controller has proven anything, it is that one should expect the (pleasantly) unexpected from the Big N. So, in reality, despite my best attempts to direct you to the contrary, there is no reason to doubt Nintendo’s ablities. Sure Zelda will change, but we can be reasonably assured that it will be for the best.

Filed under Humor, Nintendo

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20 Messages from the Gossip Stones about “The Future of Zelda (Today!)”


    Wait, wait… I’m a bit confused. Those memos were tossed out so they aren’t THAT imporant, right? Although some of the ideas are very interesting (taking pictures on horseback appeals to me) some of them are downright awful. Zelda Hunters, first person??! I’d appreciate the attempt at making them mini-games or something, but isn’t Hunters a bit… too far off. I understand the need to explore genres, but they use Mario for that… If they do the same thing with Zelda, isn’t that pushing it a bit too far, even for Nintendo?

    You do know that he was joking, right? You only needed to pay attention to the bits after the first sentence of the last paragraph. XD.

    I personally feel that the quote shown meant that we would no longer play it with a traditional console controller, which is why the Revolution is the revolution; it’s making way for a truly interactive gaming experience.

    Did you have to slap all that into my face?

    Oh, and Zelda is NOT Mario, thank god.

    Imagine moving around with the ‘nunchak’-control stick, while controlling the equiped item with the ‘pointer’? The item could be your sword, and by swinging with the pointer, you’d swing your sword in-game. Equip a bow and hold down the ‘z’-button to load up an arrow. The game would jump to first person perspective when doing so, and you would be able to aim with the ‘pointer’ while still ’strafing’ around with the ‘nunchak’-control stick. Releasing the Z-button fires the arrow again.

    Imagine the butterfly catching net from ALTTP, in a mini-game!

    I think there’s great potential in the controls that don’t necessarily have to alter the way we experience Zelda, but simply enhance it.

    Ah, Mr. Parody, how I laugh in your general direction. ;)

    ah poop, now I’m gonna have to play those stupid plumber (mario) games

    Hey, Jack, did you see that playable demo released in this month’s Outdoor Life Magazine? Y’know, The Legend of Zelda: Bass Masters? It’s 15 levels of fishing! You play Link, and either the computer or a second player controls Ganondorf, and you have to catch bigger fish than him (watch out, that wily Gerudo cheats something awful!), or he’ll once again take over Hyrule! Exclamation mark!

    All joking aside, it is a bit sad that Zelda will be changing. I mean, I’m sure that Nintendo will create some wonderful games using the unique features of the Nintendo DS and Revolution, but it’s still a little bit sad to think that TP will be the last game of it’s kind in the Zelda series.

    Still, I guess if Zelda can transition from 2D to 3D and still have that Zelda feel to it, that Zelda will also be able to make this transition as well. So even though I’ll be sorry to see the present style of gameplay depart, I’m also very excited to see what Nintendo has in store for it’s more cherished franchise.

    XD Hyrule Snap! I love it!

    Honestly, though, I don’t know why people seem to fear this big change. We don’t even know how drastic it is going to be. The Zelda engine is due for an upgrade anyways and I think we’ve seen a little bit of Miyamoto’s “boredom” with such things as going as far to creating the “Parry” action in The Wind Waker.

    Nor do I have many doubts about how well it will turn out. The switch from sprites to 3D was an extreme event back for its time when Ocarina of Time came out. Since then we’ve had several graphic changes and different game story ideas. Each of these have been taking incredibly well, though, granted, there has always been one group or another that simply did not agree. You aren’t going to please everyone, but I think on the whole, I’m rather looking forward to seeing what new concepts Miyamoto has planned for us.

    I heard that all Zeldas after Twilight Princess will have online options!! That sounds cool to me…..:)

    • 12. JC says:

    I really don’t think Zelda will change for the worst. There can’t be anything bad about it really. It’s Zelda. Have some faith! :-p

    But, really, narrow down the options. How will Link move? With the analog stick. I don’t see how he could move with the sensor on the other side of the controller.

    But, Miyamoto said “Zelda as we know it.” He could only mean button usage. Maybe you choose a weapon, assign it to a button on the Rev’s controller, and then you move the sensor around and Link uses the weapon. But, who knows.

    It’d look pretty simple for Nintendo to do a 2D game with the Rev controller, no problem. But, Nintendo knows the 3D Zelda’s always did better than the 2-D ones. (I’m talking about now, not back in the days of the NES and SNES. I’m talking re-releases, and new 2Ds).

    We’ll just have to wait and see. I mean, when Miyamoto says something, do you really think hes gonna let us down? When he took control over Ocarina of Time, did it suck? Heck no. Did it Pikmin or Nintendogs do bad? No.

    Don’t worry. Miyamotos got it all planned out. ^_^

    I wouldn’t worry. Even if this transition bombs, which it probably won’t, Nintendo would almost certainly go back to their old style, no? They couldn’t afford not to.

    I trust Miyamoto, I suppose. Really, though, I have to; I have too much invested in this franchise to back out of it! ^^” Miyamoto seems to have been referencing the new controller, unless there’s some other sort of revolution going on inside the Big N. .__.” Nah, that can’t be it. The only other thing would be Zelda going online, which would be…Ah…I don’t quite know…
    So…Yeah…Akira, out! >.>

    LOL! Yeah, I have too much faith in Mr. Miyamoto to back out of the franchise now. They can’t go worse than Zelda II, can they?

    Okay, when and where can I buy Zelda pinball? (j/k)

    Maybe Mr. Miyamoto plans to remove Link from the story line and HE himself will play Links Character! I think he is planing to Change the name to Miyamoto adventures in Hyrule. Link will then be downgraded to the coocoo boy in Lon Lon Ranch.

    zelda….will…..be …different? AHHHH!!!! I don’t want to play that fat Mario dude!!! But zelda pinball sounds cool!

    I think Zelda Hunters looks awsome. A cool multiplayer game with a zelda twist.

    Don’t Nintendo still have the Game Boy platform to make “traditional” Zelda games on? I think the answer is: “yes”